im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you had me at cake vodka
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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