Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
