The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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