she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
