Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How naked do you want me to be?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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