Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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