its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize