Betty ford says i'm here all night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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