Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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