You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
