at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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