guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
