just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize