What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
