he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
