is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize