I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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