we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
