the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
