How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
