He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
