Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize