this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
They should really pass out barf bags in church
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
