she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's just like the Real World with babies
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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