bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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