i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
