i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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