My brain says no but my pants say off.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
