I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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