The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
