if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize