I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize