I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
