Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize