there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
