I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
