i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
