GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
