Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
