I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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