so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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