I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
