whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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