Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
