Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
