Jerry, you need to find god
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
