my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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