ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
