He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
