She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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