I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
