dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
