I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm like, not good at living.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
