i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want her autograph on my taint
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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