Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Soap is not a condiment
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pants are for mortals
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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