She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
