he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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