you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
