I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
