wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
