She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
