You work out of a Hotel?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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